I got out of my truck at home the other day and stood staring at a planter bed. I said to myself, “I don’t touch this.”
Right away I knew I was in trouble. Why? A song slammed into my head. It was Hammer Time. And yes you guessed it. I have not gotten the song out of my head since. You know the one.
“Do do do do …. do do …. do do. Can’t touch this.”
Do you remember MC Hammer? Bursting on the scene in fresh new kicks and pants. Magic on the mic and oh so hip.
“What other things around me in the garden do I not touch?”
With MC’s song in my head, I took a walk. I was kind of cracking myself up. “Don’t touch this. Can’t touch that. No need to touch that.” As I walked around the garden this song played over and over in my head. So let me apologize for putting MC Hammer “You Can’t Touch This” in your head. Don’t sue me MC. I was a fan back in the day at the roller rink.

I Don’t Touch This
Variegated Agapanthus, Pittosporum Creme de Menthe, Verbena ‘de la Mina’ and Oregano ‘Kent Beauty’. Plant it and don’t touch it. I haven’t touched it in 3 years. Sorry for the trash can in the background. At least it blends with my plants, kinda.

Don’t Touch That
Ok. Once a year I touch that. The blue conifer was a Picea ‘Fat Albert’. I whacked it three years ago. Now I only touch it once a year. I wished I touch it more because I’m usually drinking a beer.

I Don’t Touch This Either
Lomandra ‘Hammer Time’
Everything in this picture I don’t have to touch. I stare at it. I walk by it. I glance occasionally and yes, once a year I do a little nip and tucking. Outside of that, I don’t touch it. Okay, it’s not ‘Hammer Time’, it’s ‘Breeze’, Lomandra ‘Breeze’.

I Forget This
Hakonechloa grass. Goes to dirt in the wintertime and I forget that it’s there. Every year I think, “I got to plant something there” and every year I forget it’s there.

Don’t Need to Touch That
Behind Painter Boy, there’s a redwood tree. Haven’t touched it in years. No need to. No fussing. It’s a groundcover. Yes, a redwood tree that is a groundcover. Let me break it down. It grows across the ground.

Let’s Keep Getting Down
Cedrus atlantica ‘Green Wave’
I don’t touch this. A cedar tree that grows on the ground.

I Trim That
Campanula ‘Birch Hybrid’
I trim it once a year, late winter. Blooming all summer. Goes into the category of “I don’t touch that.”

Wile E. Coyote
Ain’t Touching That
The coyote has a big bite, straight through your gloves.
So often I hear people describe what they think is the perfect plant and believe it or not there are quite a few. You’ve heard me say it. Plants are like pets. Choose the right one for your lifestyle and the care is easy.
Now that you have Hammer Time rolling through your head, gardening is easy. I plant plants I don’t have to touch.
If you’ve been to Maple Rock, it’s maintained for the most part by one person. Planting plants is not rocket science. When you purchase a plant that looks like a puppy, think ahead. Will it grow up to be a high maintenance diva or a plant you don’t touch?
Come to the nursery this weekend, stream “Can’t Touch This” on your cell phone and get 20% off. Let’s see who has Hammer Time stuck in their head.
It’s Robin Time. Join us June 16th for Succulent Extravaganza.
Come meet Robin, Sunset Magazine’s Hammer of Succulents.

Here’s the program. Robin will be talking two times. Once at 10:00 a.m. and once at 1:00 p.m. Make a reservation for breakfast or make a reservation for lunch and then go sit down and listen to Mr. Succulent talk. He wrote a book. It’s a pretty cool one. We’ll have it for sale. Pick one up while they last. It’s truly a beautiful book filled with lots of inspirational ideas.
Did I say you can shop until you drop for succulents? See you on June 16th. Sign up for this free event by clicking here. If the lecture is full, don’t worry. There is standing room and shopping to do and books to buy. We only have so many chairs to set up. That’s all.

It’s Lavender Time. June 9th, 9-3 at Maple Rock Gardens. You can touch that. $10 at the gate and you can pick all the lavender you can take. More details to come. Bring gloves and clippers and a container for your lavender. A picnic lunch if you desire. We’ll provide the lavender and the bees. Don’t worry. They’re collecting pollen. The bees could care less about you.
Coming to Lavender Days? RSVP by clicking here.
It’s Train Time. Rolling down the tracks with new kicks. Train Days is around the corner.

Train Day is a Maple Rock exclusive. Who doesn’t like trains? Tickets can be purchased by clicking here, at the nursery or at Maple Rock on the day of the event. All aboard for Train Day.

Big Boy Toy Update
Check Out the Size of My Rebar
There are a million plants out there. Did you ever think there was a redwood that would grow on the ground? Did you ever think you could plant something and actually not have to touch it? My definition of a plant that you don’t have to touch is one that grows slow. It’s one that you need to simply trim here or there to repeat a blooming cycle or touch it lightly once a year to keep it in shape. It’s one it’s not fussy about the conditions necessarily and it won’t hold it against you if you miss a watering cycle or two. But, beware, some of the best plants out there that are mindless are deciduous plants or plants that die back in the winter time, such as a peony. (FYI: The time frame for not touching a plant under California state law is twice a year.)
High-Hand Nursery is full of Hammer plants. Stop by High-Hand Nursery and let us show you Hammer Time plants.
See you at High-Hand Nursery and we’ll do the dance.
Scott